Hey everyone. I am just going to apologize in advance for the length of this blog. It's been a while since I have really updated about me - and just me. So Here's where I am at:

Life has had its ups and downs. I lost a good friend.....because of some reason(s) I may not fully ever understand. I have been extremely hurt by this person too, but at the same time I still care for them. I guess because I have such a close attachment with people it's hard to let go completely. It's also just in me. Thats just how I am - caring, and always wanting to make things work out whatever the circumstance is. However, this situation, hasnt been worked out and not quite sure it ever will be. Right now though, the best thing for me and them is to keep our distance.

Not only has that been difficult, but just work had been stressful for a while (not stressful like my past jobs, but just stressful - we all have those days right?) I have also dealt with just feeling lonely since pretty much all my friends live out of town. So really i have been going through a lot of emotions and finding out who I am.

But through all this pain, struggle, confusion, heartache, concern, love, frustrations etc, I have gained strength. Strength in many areas. I have realized that even though i am an emotional person and I am sensitive and sometimes might not have a lot of confidence in myself or others. I have learned that I am STRONG. I am strong because I am moving foward but still love this person. I am strong because I am making an effort to get up every morning and go to work. Thank God I HAVE a job! I have been blessed with some amazing new people in my life and have been in closer contact with those who are out of town.

God has given me the strength and support from many friends and just to me, personally, to move on and get past everything. I am to the point now where I want to move foward. I want to change. I want to continue to be positive. I want to continue to Love even when others dont love me. I want to continue to do my best at work even when I am not always told I am doing a good job. I want to change ME. I found that going to the river and walking/..jogging and clearing my mind at the river and waterside helped me a lot!!!

I noticed that when I stopped, i became sad again, i started to feel crappy again. I made the decision hands down the other week I am goingto do the P90X which my good friend Johnathan recommended to me!! (THANKS JOHNATHAN!!! LOVE YA!!!)

So I did it. I bought it last Thursday and should be receiving it in the mail tomorrow. even though I have not received it yet, I started an hour workout last night. I walked/jogged for 30 minutes and then did aerobic/..balance training on the wii fit. I can honestly say i LOVE TO SWEAT!!! haha It made me feel sooo good!.

I also got up this morning at 6 AM with the roomie and we walked/jogged a mile! For those who know me - yall know I am NOT a morning person. SO this was HUGE for me. But we did it. yes I am sleepy but it was so worth it and my way of thinking today getting through a monday was so much better. i was more positive. I was less stressed and Its been great!

So with all that said, this evening I was looking at videos on youtube about the P90X and I came across this video. It was a coach for p90x and then i decided to look through his other videos and one in particular caught my eye. It was him and a kid sitting by the fireplace with a guitar singing. I took a moment and was like ah what the heck ill check it out and I am so glad I did.

This song is so true. This song brought a smile to my face and is definitely going to be my motivation each day. Not only for me personally as in emotions and attitude, but also physically.

We only get ONE SHOT - and I am going to make the most of it. Are you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL43EuFMfUU&feature=player_embedded

Let's FORGIVE. Let's LOVE. Lets think POSITIVE. Let's LOVE. Let's CARE for others. Let's make the most of EVERYDAY!!! and again LETS LOVE....for we only have....ONE SHOT!!!!